Here she comes! Birth of Samantha Galelyn Eaves

 This pregnancy has some mild challenges. But the hardest was working through emotional fears I had never had before. I had been on a restrictive diet the year before getting pregnant and had lost 35lbs. My hope was to rid myself of my sugar addiction. So when I started eating it again I wouldn’t over do it. Well that didn’t work. I stopped the diet 3mo into my pregnancy and it went completely the other way. I gained weight quickly. I was already feeling upset about the weight gain. When my midwives started feeling worried about it too. They started planting seeds of fear. Fear of having a big baby and it getting “stuck”. I know their intention were to help me make better eating choices. That maybe if I could think of the baby it would help me control my eating habits... well it would help for a while. I would plateau my weight for a month then I would gain 5lbs. Feel guilty and scared, go all crazy, plateau my weight for a month then gain 5lbs in one week.. I have had 4 babies. All but one over 8lbs, 1 9.6lbs. Never had torn. My biggest baby was only “stuck” because he was posterior with a short chord. I still got him out without tearing. I started my weight at a smaller weight I had been in years. But with all my babies I cook them with my weight being around 200lbs. No matter my starting weight. But all I could hear was their small comments “ So and so had 10 kids, the last one should have slid out, because the baby was big she had a hard labor.” “ come to find out mom had drank nesquick every night before bed, she had a big baby, the labor was hard” ( I wish that was my only problem...) “if it helps you eat better, the bigger the baby the more uncomfortable it is for them to be born.” It tormented me. It caused super disordered eating. The guilt and fear was so terrible. If I had a hard labor, it was my fault. I made my baby big. I’m putting my baby in danger.  I didn’t care that I was fat, I get fat every time! What was unfair was the self loathing I felt for putting my baby at risk. Well hard labors happen with all sizes of babies. And a lot of big babies are born easily. The added fear and shame was not needed. All that being said. I love the midwife that has now labored with me to bring two of my babies here. She loves me, and is sincere, wise, skilled, and understanding. And the last few weeks I refused to weigh myself, and told her it was throwing me off and causing me a lot of fear.  She understood and did her best to support me and help me regain some confidence. My confidence in all actuality was lost. I’m not sure it will ever completely come back. It feels really tragic seeing as I had birthed 4 humans and my confidence was not even a question. I was a confident powerful birther. I’m only giving you this preface however, to help you understand my state of mind. So you can clearly and powerfully see the loving hand of God in the transpiring events. 

Let’s start back last week. I was able to schedule a session appt. at the Phoenix Arizona Temple. Driving to the temple, my heart heavy with the above feelings of fear, guilt, and shame. Praying to few comfort,  I felt prompted to listen to that weeks lesson in Come Follow Me. I believe it was a cross referenced talk with the lesson, anyhow it stated something of the likes “ when you honor your covenants made in the Temple you are entitled to his protection.”  It came with overwhelming force into my heart. I felt the truth of that. It was an immense comfort to me. 

The day of Sammy’s birth was so special. My mom was in town and we went to the Mesa Temple open house, it had been closed for two years. I was feeling afraid of the unknown. I was scared of how this birth was going to go. Feeling very very vulnerable. So we started walking through and turned a corner down by the baptismal font, and there directly in front of me was a painting of the nativity. Everyone was looking down at baby Jesus, being held in Mary’s arms. But she was looking directly into the viewers eyes. Into my eyes. I felt her say to me. You are not alone, even the mother of God has been through this. And all mothers before you. The love and courage I felt were overwhelming. It was one of the more sacred moments of my life. She spoke to me. The next was a painting of one of the mothers of the “2,000” stripping warriors. The painting was titled “Thier mothers knew it.” This brought me to tears again. As I remembered the trust and love God has for me. Sending me my precious children. And this little one was no different. 

After the temple I went to an appointment with Dianne, who was a close associate and friend of my midwife Mary. They have worked together for years. Dianne had traveled all around the world delivering babies and had gathered knowledge from all over how to naturally and safely induce labor. I was 39wks and thought “heck yes.” She combined all this knowledge, using oils, acupuncture, and perennial massage. She told my midwife that once that babie hit my cervix she was going to slide right out. To be ready and not longer. Her success rate was 8/10. I started labor 2hrs later.

I started labor, and was lying down in my bed. Doing my breathing.  The our little Doxy Ellie, came and shaped her little body perfectly around my tummy. She was so warm and knew right where it hurt. Such a sweet little love. She always knows. Anyhow I was in the beginnings of labor, so Paul asked if he could run to Home Depot real quick. I told him  sure! because I thought I definitely had a few hours ahead of me, before we would even leave to the birth center. But not even 15min later. I called him and told him to turn around. My mom was like are you sure? You don’t seem to be in active labor?? Haha I was sure!! Paul hot home and little Ronnie looked up at me and said “are you going to be alright??” He was so worried. “Is it going to hurt?” I told him “ yes, but it’s ok your mommy is strong, and it is a natural thing.” Sweet little boy. I was scared.

We got to the birth center and I wanted to get right in the tub. While that was happening, these people came in a rush! Their baby was being born now! Daddy went outside to get the camera and missed the baby being born! They said she stepped to go into the tub and the baby slid out!! Not even 20min after that 30min after we had gotten to the birth center, Sammy came flying out herself. Although she took a little more work. I pushed for only a few minutes, but VERY hard. 

I looked at Mary and said “how long am I going to do this” she just raised her eyebrows and looked away.. haha very comforting! We were on the toilet at this time, and she told the midwife assistant to grab the birth chair and that when the water broke my husband was to lift me off and put me on the birth chair directly in front of me ASAP. She said “ are you ready?!” My waters burst and she said “Now!” She lifted me on and I bore down. “The heads out! Push!” And then her little shoulders too. 

Our beautiful Sammy. She came charging out and she has not slowed down. Crawling  at 5 months, walking at 9months. She is ferocious and sweet. She is the love of all our hearts. 

The Birth of Stephen Reinier Eaves

 Every birth teaches me a lesson about myself, about life, about God, and gives me the gift of a child as well as answers prayers. 

Nora gave me the gift of motherhood, her birth was filled with joy and light from heaven. This her name is Eli (God) nor (light). 

Ronnie’s birth taught me Gods awareness of me, healed my heart from the hurt of postpartum depression and the fear of having another baby. The blessings of heaven rained down.

Bret’s Birth was hard. I saw power in myself I never knew possible. I now know I can do anything I put my mind to. 

Stephen Reinier Eaves, was born precisely when he was supposed to be born. Down to the minute. He was born on 02/02/2020 @ 02:02am a perfect double palindrome. 

Stephen even in the womb was a kind soul. I was trying to heal from the trauma of Brets birth. As ppl the time of birth was approaching, my anxiety was becoming unbearable. Stephen stayed breech a week from when we would have to try to turn him. At that point I was so afraid of a repeat experience like Bret’s, that I would rather get a C-section. But my dear midwife Rachel,(from Blossom Birth Center, in Phoenix AZ) helped me work through my fears, and ask Stephen to go head down. Before the end of that week he listened. He was posterior then, face up position, the position Bret was in that had made it so difficult to bring him here. She told me to ask Stephen, again, to move to the left side, facing back. And he listened.

Now the waiting game. I was good at waiting by now, both Ronnie and Bret were late. Ronnie by 9 days, Bret by 6. But I had never not started labor and seen a baby at the end. Those few weeks before he was born I went into labor 3 times. The first time it was the day before we were to go on our over night anniversary date. Then the next day we found out my sister in law had had a miscarriage of a long wanted baby. How painful would have been if he was born then? Us spreading our jubilance, and only impacting their pain.

The next time we headed to the birth center again, and it stopped within two hours just like the first.  Every birth teaches me a lesson about myself, about life, about God, and gives me the gift of a child as well as answers prayers. 

But I had never not started labor and not seen a baby at the end. Those few weeks before he was born I went into labor 3 times. The first time it was the day before we were to go on our over night anniversary date. Then the next day we found out my sister in law had had a miscarriage of a long wanted baby. How painful would have been if he was born then? Us spreading our jubilance, and only impacting their pain.

The next time we headed to the birth center again, and it stopped within two hours just like the first. Paul joked “hey wait till next week! Maybe he will be born on the palindrome! It only happens like every 800yrs or something” I laughed and said he better not make we wait so long.. 

This same process happened one more time. 

The day before Stephen was born, we were all convinced he was a girl. Samantha.. I was talking with my niece Emily and I said “ Emilee.. what if the baby is a boy?.. Emilee! It’s a boy..” 

Later that day, around 5:00pm on February 1rst. Labor started finally. For real this time. My friend Leah was flying in that night, coming to help me take care of my kiddos. I was suppose to have already had the baby at this point. But an hour after she came, labor picked up, I knew it was time to go. Another example of perfect timing. We got to the birth center, and I began to cry, “ I can’t see the baby in my arms or with the kids, what if I don’t make it? What if he doesn’t make it?”  and started the intravenous antibiotic. I was GBS positive. The antibiotic needed to be in my system for at least 4hrs before the baby was born. Otherwise it could be dangerous for baby. 

The labor was very easy, very calm. I remember crying because it was “too” easy, and the contractions were inconsistent and not strong or really painful. I would have 10 min breaks, then 3 small contractions, maybe one larger. This same pattern happened with Bret. Save the contractions were very painful and very hard. So I was worried the baby was positioned wrong and had a short chord like Bret. 

With Nora and Ronnie’s birth I wanted Paul right there holding my hand. I relied heavily on his assurance. With Bret it was such a Difficult labor, that I needed all the support I could get so I was surrounded by my midwife assistants and my midwife. But with Stephen I had this Fierce independence. I didn’t want anyone touching me. We were having a little bit of a stall in labor. Where is the crazy long breaks in between, increasing my worry, she had me try a position called Captain Jack. Where are you prop one leg up on a stool or chair and during a contraction you squat down into your hips  And breathe down. It must’ve done the trick, I got in the Birth pool and felt like I needed to use the restroom. Got on the toilet and felt a huge dissent from the baby. Was able to fill his head at the tip of my fingers. And the midwives were like you better come get on the birth stool. so I walked over to the birth stool, And within two pushes, he was here! He came at 2:02 AM on 02/ 02 /2020. A perfect palindrome. A palindrome that only happens about every 800 years. I remember Paul saying if we waited for this day how special that would be. I have no idea what it is with my babies and listening to their father about due dates or birth timing, but they seem to do what he asks. At least in the womb anyhow.. 

We had decided to keep his gender reveal till as Paul would say it “The baby will reveal when it reveals.” So right away when Stephen was born he had a manly old man face, And we knew for certain just by looking at the guy he was a boy. And what a surprise! We had planned to call her Samantha, even written the name Sam in the  cement in the backyard... although the day before he was born I had a pretty strong hunch that he was a little boy. So I wasn’t terribly surprised. But for most of the pregnancy we had assumed he was a little girl.

The energy I had gotten from Little Stephen in my womb was that of a little fox. With a bright color of teal. And he is such a little fox mischievous and sweet. Smart and curious. Snuggly and loving. The joy of our hearts! Stephen taught me to trust in God‘s Timing. Perfect timing, down to the very minute. Like I previously mentioned he was a kind baby and listened to me, when I needed him to move positions. He continues to show such sweet kindness. I couldn’t be more grateful to be Stephen’s mom, and to have had the experience bringing him into this world that I did.

Little Warrior, Sunshine Child. Birth Story of Bret Howe Eaves

Motherhood.

I have felt the weight, I have felt the grief of emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual expansion. It has been the most glorious, painful, exhausting, powerful vortex I have ever been asked to pass through. My heart is now more full than it has ever been. It has given me the most precious gifts. First of all the magic and wonder that is my children. Experiencing the birth of a love I didn’t know possible. Like birth we labor in this love, bound by the struggle, pain, power, surrender, we experience as we soujorn in this life.  Motherhood, deepened me, painfully, but gave me the me I’ve always wanted.

This last pregnancy was relatively painless. It was a time of peace and joy. It was fought for. I had to overcome emmense mountains of emotional pain, to welcome a new comer. It took faith in my husband, faith in myself, and a surrender to Gods love he was trying to send to me. My dear Father in Heaven knew the healing that I needed with growing and bringing this child earthside.

I feel a peace in myself that I’ve never had before. It came from taking Gods hand and letting it guide me. Moment by moment. Angels seen and unseen were sent to me. I was taught jewels of truth and knowledge from others who had overcome my same mountains.

I had a intuitive impression that this birth would be hard. That I was to make myself physically strong. Of course this brought fearful thoughts to my head. But that peace I spoke of earlier, guided me gently through them. Up till the day before I delivered, and let my last fear go.


I knew that night before that I was going to have the baby the next day. Of course I didn’t get myself too excited. Although the signs were totally there. I had lost my mucus plug and had bloody show.  I was 5 days past due. I had exapected I would carry longer and that this child would be a healthy size.

Unlike my other two labors that both started right at 12:00am, I started light contractions at 4:30am. I tried to go back to sleep with little success. So I started tracking them. They were about 10mins apart.
My husband woke up at 5:00am for work. I told him what was going on. Said if they got any closer I would call him home. I had two false alarms similar to this about a week prior.

Sure enough around 7:30am they really picked up pace ranging from 3 to 5 minutes apart. So I called Paul home. The day before I had let my doula know I had lost my mucus plug. I called her when they first started, to put her on alert. At around 7:00am I called my midwife to let her know I was definitely having small contractions ranging any where from 3-13mins apart. They gave me advice on some things I could do to stimulate it further. Few positions, and “curb” walking. And by strictly labor enduceing need, demanded a little love making..

The contractions were getting more intense but still very spiratic. My midwife asked if I would like to come in and get checked. I agreed, I wanted more so to know if the little one had turned to the posterior position again, or sunny side up. (Head turned toward the front instead of the back. )

We got there and to my surprise she said I was at a 5/6, tissue super soft. So I asked her “Are we having a baby today?” She told us “ Yes,  think we are looking at a dinner time baby!” . I was so excited she told us at this point we could stay or labor a little more at home. I decided to go home. Called my doula, Michelle, and told her to meet me there. She would be able to tell when I needed to head back to the birth center.

We basically came into the drive way, walked in the house and bam. I wasn’t able to talk through these ones. So we got back on the car and went down. Called Michelle told her the change of plans.

When we returned, I was in the full seat of things. We walked into the birth room and everything was all ready. I looked at my birth pool in the corner and started to cry. The last time I was in that pool
Sweet little Nora was born.

I got in and was soon bearing down. I kept checking Myself and would feel his head at the top of my finger.  He was budging I had been “pushing” for two hours with no Dissension. The midwives told me maybe we should get out and try some different positions. What insured after this point was by far the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. We pushed in difference positions, blue face, hard as I can  pushing, for 3 hrs.

I screamed  and groaned, cried and cursed, roared and yelled. This was not at all like my other labors.
I was getting so tired and my midwives I think sensed that I wouldn’t be able to carry on much longer. I could feel myself going numb. So they put me in a very painful position. My legs were draped over the end of the bed, a pillow was propped beneath my bum, and I would alternate having contractions with my legs down then pulling them up. When they were up they had to pry my pubic bone away from my tail bone... yes it HURT. But finally after what I can only say was from a deep grizzly inside of me, I growled his head out. Soon the shoulders followed and then came the most beautiful baby I had ever seen! Sunny side up ( Posterior oresentation) with a very short chord.

I learned that day that I was a freaking super hero, that I had inhuman capabilities. But was definitely traumatized.

Bret is perhaps the most glorious, fun, beautiful child. He was a very aware and smart baby. My
Midwife said “congratulations you gave birth to a 3mo old. Weighing 9lbs 6oz.

Bret was so full of goodness and light. It scared me, still scares me. Like he is almost too
Perfect to be here. No matter how “naughty” he can be.

His birth gave me confidence that I could
Do anything I put my mind to.

"Lion Heart" the Birth of Ronald Paul Eaves

Nora is the light of my universe. But my first two yrs as a Mother with her, were the hardest of my life. My fears of putting another baby through what Nora went through horrified me to my core. I struggled with postpartum depression that led into a major depression. I won't go into detail about our suffering, first because I don't want to just remember the bad. Because as much as it was hard and sometimes down right awful, some days and moments with Nora will be etched in history (my history) as the most wonderful, beautiful, happy days of my life.  Secondly this story is not about my past. It is about how my birth healed me as a mother.

By some beautiful divinely orchestrated series of events, my family was getting their wish to move to Arizona years before we thought it possible. I would not be left alone to raise two children. I would in fact be living in the home of my sister in law.

The months proceeding Ronny's arrival were beautiful, Nora and I had a new birth of our relationship. The last remnants of the veil of my depression slipped effortlessly away.  I could finally basque in Nora's radiant light, that I could only see and imagine how it felt before.

The time was nearing my mother and sister arrived. My sister left... Ronny still wasn't here. My Grandfather was on his death bed. So my mother left to Missouri. Then came back. Then my sweet grandfather passed away, so she carpooled with my Uncles back to Missouri. I  was at this point 40wks 3 days.  We had a tough parting realizing she may miss the birth. In fact she wasn't sure she was going to leave with my uncles, until about 5 minutes before we arrived where they were staying. We had decided to pray. The answer that came clear as a bell to my head was " The decision made in Faith is the right one" So the decision to stay was based off of the fear I might have the baby without my Mom being there. The decision made in Faith was to go to the funeral, It was for sure the right decision. At that moment I had an opportunity to recenter. Because I kept worrying about how all of this birthing "madness" going to work out. I was already severely grieved that Rachael wasn't going to be there. But I too had to remember Faith. God has never not taken care of me. Why would he stop now? But.. My strength once again started to fail me, and I started worrying my brains out... Thus our story begins:

March 18th, 41wks pregnant, 11pm, in the bathtub crying my eyes out to my mom:

" I don't want to be induced! I paid $3200 to birth my baby in that stinkin' birth center. How can they say that he is exactly 42wks?? They are going to force me to do something I don't want to do. It's EVIL!! I want Ronny to choose his own birthday. It's awful! It's EVIL!"

March 19th, sometime around 3am, asleep in my bed:

I was in a compound full of tamed elephants and lions. One specific lion kept trying to come up to me. Before he could get too close I would go to a kitchen ( dreams are weird.. a kitchen was right by the compound..) climb up on the very top of the cupboards and wait for the lion to go away.  I fit up there like a little girl, I felt small, I felt afraid. On one of the occasions friends followed the Lion into the kitchen, handed me an arrangement of wilted but beautiful flowers.
"It's ok." my friend said. The lion climbed up to me on the cupboard, and burrowed his huge head into my chest. I massaged his big ears and felt my heart heal, I was flooded with love and courage. I woke up to my first contraction.

3:00 am these were familiar, these were the real ones. Menstrual cramp feeling, with a rise and a fall. They were even consistent too, happening every 5-7mins. I was already needing to vocalize through them. But I decided to hold off for a half hour, before I called the midwife. Sure enough 45min later they were coming steady and consistently. I woke up Paul and told him, that I think we are really down to business this time! I had similar surges happen on Monday but they had faded away. The midwife on call that morning was Amy. I LOVE Amy, I started to cry when she answered the phone. It was comforting to hear her voice, and it was the start of the relief that this was finally happening. We had decided to leave fairly soon even though the contractions weren't as close together as they usually like. I live out in the middle of nowhere, in a city called Maricopa. It's 45mins away from the birthing center. A few other factors like the intensity of the surge, it was raining, and morning traffic, all contributed to that decision.

It was a beautiful morning. I still couldn't kick the feeling that we were getting worked up for nothing. But my mom and Paul were so reassuring. That wall of doubt was slowly starting to fall and I was starting to let myself feel some relief. My eyes would well up with tears thinking that this was finally happening!

On arrival to the birth center I perused the place, feeling out my space, I looked in the fridge, which was heftily stocked with coconut water, (good thing because it was the only form of substance I wanted.) the cupboards, and made a final decision on the room I wanted to settle into. Initially I had envisioned birthing in the "Brown Room" But decided that the "White Room"'s tub was more suitable for my size and height.

I did most the labor on the bed draped over a peanut ball on the bed. In the beginning I straddled the ball on my side. But it soon became uncomfortable to lay down.  The surges were super huge and intense the whole time. I was barely able to get on top of them. I got in the tub about 3 hours after arriving, but didn't stay in there long. It hurt my knees to kneel and Paul was too far away. It was really cool looking though, there were jets and lights that changed colors in the water, it even had a chandelier over it. I started to get overheated, nauseated, and really light headed. So I got out, and went back to the bed. But while in the tub there was a super still moment, where it was just me, my doula, and midwife in the room. I was feeling overwhelmed and ashamed that I was already so tired. Then "Be still my soul" started to play. Everyone went quiet at once and that sweet verse " Be still my soul, the waves and winds still know, the voice who ruled them, while he dwelt below" It was such a sweet message straight from heaven. I wasn't alone in this.
 On the bed labor picked up a lot. I started getting lost, started feeling the weight of discouragement building up. I was falling victim to the seemingly endless, and painful surges. My heart felt broken, this feeling was beyond words to express. I believe this emotional place is called rock bottom. I needed Eva Cassidy, she could sing my pain. So I requested that they put on Eva Cassidy's cover of "Tall Trees in Georgia" and "I Know You by Heart". I grieved. The tears spilt, and they spilt deeply. I grieved for the pain I had caused my family with my "days of darkness" struggling with postpartum depression. Especially the damage done to my Nora. I grieved about the loneliness I felt, I grieved about my fear of bringing another beautiful soul here and putting him through the same pain. I grieved because I lost heart in my capability to meet another surge.  But when the tears had purged and dried up, my heart was flooded with love and courage, as I remembered the love I had for this baby. For my "Lion Heart". That as I'm to be a brave and powerful mentor in his life, so it begins now as I bring him bravely and courageously into this world. I told him " I love you baby, I'm here, It's alright. You will be safe, Mommy is here to guide you bravely here." I got back on top of the wave, the pain lessoned, the intensity stayed, and a warrior was born. I roared like a lion and I birthed like a warrior goddess. My movements were sexual and loud. Graceful and intense. The phrase I just kept saying was "You are a warrior, I can do this." I would say it out loud and in my mind. I said it for hours.

I can't pin point the moment now, but I believe it was right after I had hit rock bottom, my husband was lying in front of me tears flowing down his cheeks. He was soundless, silently crying, looking me straight in the eyes. He was beyond words. We just sat there and cried into each others eyes. My husband keeps his emotions very well. He does not let himself become vulnerable very rarely. Our hearts in this moment were as raw, open, and vulnerable as they have ever been. We saw deeper into each others souls than we ever had before. I wiped away his tears and kissed his cheeks. His precious face is burned into my mind, and my heart.

In my last labor, I was able to drape over my inflatable pool and I was literally so comfortable and relaxed between surges, I would sleep. I had never been so tired during this last labor, I remember just looking around aimlessly and saying " I want to sleep, I want to sleep, I wish I could sleep." I also said " I wish I could puke". At which point they brought out the peppermint oil, and some homeopathic nausea tablets that really seemed to help. There was a student midwife there though that was a little too earnest about the peppermint. She kept obnoxiously close to my face with it, and would follow my head around as I was trying to get away from her hand. I'm not one to flat out yell at someone so I just as politely as I could requested that we put the peppermint on my neck and chest. Soon after this the bed had become the most terribly uncomfortable place imaginable and the pool was not at all an option, so I headed to the toilet. I straddled it backwards and put a pillow on the back. It was super nice to put my head down. But my arms were SO heavy. It hurt to just let them hang so I had Paul sit behind me and hold my arms. I would lean my head back on to his shoulder/chest area and he would snuzzle me with his cheek and nose. I would feel his sweet tears on fall on my chest. This labor was like I was in the middle of a tornado. It felt like it was trying to rip me to shreds. But as long as Paul was there I didn't get torn away. He was my rock. He was everything.

The labor had stayed consistently the same intensity until I got on the toilet. It picked up, it was transition time. These contractions were HUGE. And I gyrated on that toilet like I was going to town. But it was the only thing that felt right, that kept me in control. It was LOUD, both in volume and movement. The midwives said to come back to the bed when I started feeling the need to push. I felt like I had been pushing for a while before they said that, in fact I'm pretty sure I yelled " I'm pushing!! I'm pushing!!". They guided me back to the bed, when I got on the bed I didn't stay there long, I felt like I need to get in the tub. I looked at Paul and said " I NEED you in there with me." He said he almost got in clothes and all! He said " Ok, do you want me to get in there now?!" I giggled and told him to put on his swim shorts first. But the way I said it, and felt when I said it was urgent and insistent. The thought of him being anywhere but right next to me was horrifying.

In that tub was some of the biggest feelings I've ever had in my life. I got in, sat down and leaned back on the side of the tub with Paul in front of me. I did about two contractions here. It did not feel good. It was on my back where I didn't notice but my focus was starting to drift. My doula came and put her hand right on my chest. It brought me right back, it calmed me so quickly. It was so powerful that simple touch. Anyhow I really started needing to get off my back but it felt impossible to switch positions. Somehow I gathered strength, and got up on my knees. During another surge I put my knees on top of Paul's, he held on to my back I held on to his shoulders, and I gyrated my hips smoothing back and forth, roaring like a lion.  I don't know how many we did this way. But when my phrase was constant in my mind " I AM A WARRIOR. I CAN DO THIS."
Amid a small break between contractions, everyone started talking about the poop floating in the water... Note to all Husbands, Mothers, and birth attendees, don't talk about poop when a mother is birthing. Be poop ninjas! Be silent and quick. They don't need to know it was even there.
Anyhow.. My midwife talked to me briefly and said on the next one try to focus that energy down. I said " what do you mean?" she said "never mind." but then I understood. My vocal tones were rising instead of falling, and I wasn't bearing completely down into my push, I was being apprehensive.  I kept feeling up my vagina, I could feel Ronnie's head getting super close. A little more than a fingers length away. But I could still feel the bag of waters soft and bulging on his head. But after my midwifes wise observation and instructions, it wasn't many surges later that the sack popped. I was super relieved when it popped, but didn't anticipate that within two pushes I would be crowning and having a baby! Nora's waters broke and three hours later she was born.. So you can imagine my surprise when I said " There's burning! I feel burning!!."

I slowly guided his head out, the burning was so intense and his head seemed to never end.  "He is coming Paul! He is almost here!" I said super excitedly through another big surge.
"The head is born!" I felt his sweet little ear, and his soft hair, then I realized I was not at all balance and would not be able to catch him when he came out. I looked at Paul and said " You are going to have to catch him, I don't have balance." He was shocked, but instantly put his hands under me and received our baby. It's super fun to hear this part from his perspective. He says " I don't know what I was feeling.. It was just HUGE! I couldn't believe that came out of you!"
When we pulled Ronnie out of the water he was bright purple and wiggling. He had his chord around his neck. The midwife calmly and quickly unwrapped the chord, placed him on my chest. I rubbed his back and he gave out the sweetest cry I've ever heard! He pinked right up. I just kept saying " I can't believe its over!!"




asked paul to bring him up
3rd push out
chord around the neck
beautiful cry
looked around for two hours
felt let down
felt like i wanted to leave
felt disconnect with baby
healed from motherhood
days following healed from birth
easier post partum
placenta smoothies
testimony


 I think in heaven our souls manifest in songs, we hear each others songs. When we come here music is innately familiar. I think because heaven is filled with it.

We certainly had a "Labor Day!"

Lets back up a bit:

Saturday, Sept. 1:

This day I was in a complete fuss.. All I wanted to do was clean my house and get every last detail hammered out for my little sweeties entrance into this world. Of course though, life had other intentions. And we told ourselves we would finish our preparations on Monday, Labor Day. After all we would have the whole day, Paul wouldn't have to work. It would be the perfect day to prepare. So I took a deep breath and suppressed all my motherly nesting instincts down.

Sunday, Sept. 2

I woke up feeling a little different, heavier, anxious, restless. Something was in the air. I felt the need to get all dressed up and take some pretty pictures of my pregnant body. Had a sneaky feeling that it would be our last chance.  We went to church first though. I couldn’t sit still in sacrament meeting, it was impossible to get comfortable. During Sunday School I got my essential oils from my sweet little Dottera lady. After church we went home and felt like we should nap. Nap we did! We took a long one. When we woke up, I went to the restroom and low and behold my mucus plug came loose. I started getting really excited. I read up on all that this could mean: Labor starting in a few hours, days, or weeks... Ugh... So basically I was to just wait and see. I was really hoping it would be a few days so my mother could be here.. But little Peanut had other plans. I got pretty serious after that though, and decided to get everything I possibly could hammered down. We took two quick pictures in front of the house then got down to business. Series of phone calls:

Called  Ashley Anderson, ( my photographer and good friend) first to tell her that I had lost my mucus plug and secondly she had a bassinet she was going to let me borrow, so I told her to bring it over.

Then I called my friend Jackie, asked her if we could borrow candles and if she might have some cocoa nut water I could have. She came and brought yummy tea, beautiful candles and a bunch of cocoa nut water. She is an angel! Love her dearly!

Then I called Eilene, another wonderful friend ( my oil lady) and she brought over the oil defuser.

It was fun they all were at my house at one point there was a tenseness to the air, and excitement.

I set out my affirmations and my birth preferences, my placenta encapsulation tools, and all the supplies for my home birth. By that time I felt reasonably secure that if baby came it would go alright. So at 10:30pm I finally went to sleep.

Monday, Sept. 3 LABOR DAY!! It's Peanut Time!

At 12:30am I started having sensations like cramps that were lasting about 50 secs. and were really inconsistently spaced. Ranging from 2-5mins apart.  I was really excited that I was finally feeling some good surges. I called my midwife to give her an update, and to ask at what spacing/length of the surges I should call her to come over. She told me to call when they were a little over a minute long, and there was a consistent 2-3 minutes in between each. I labored in bed for a little while, breathing through my nose, in a fast count of 20, and out a fast count of 20. (Or as high of a number I could reach without feeling uncomfortable.) I started feeling really uncomfortable in bed so I decided to get in the bathtub. At about 2:44am I stopped keeping track of the surges, because I started feeling a need to focus a little more deeply.  I was comfortable in the tub for a few hours. Sitting in a indian position,  laying my forehead in my hands on the side. I don't have any clocks hanging up in my house, and the last recorded times I had from my phone, were from 8:32am-9:50am. But It I think it was around 3/4am when I told Paul,  it would be wise to at least blow up the pool. That way if the surges started picking up I wouldn't have to wait for him to set it all up, It would be all ready to go. Like the sweety he is, at 3am he set up the tub. I started recording my surges again at 8:32am, they were ranging from 2 mins-7mins apart lasting anywhere from 30-60secs long. I think it was soon after this point that the bath tub was just not yielding anymore comfort. And I asked Paul to fill up that pool!

Oh how glorious that was! It was nice to just flop over on the side of the tub and let all my muscles go, breathing peacefully. It was in the pool that I could no longer stay quiet through the surges. So as they began to rise, I would take in a breath of twenty and gently "ahhed", singing, sliding down to the lowest note I could reach. It felt so good. It helped me view what my body was experiencing from a higher plane. Meaning, I was able to be to the side of the surge. Allowing my uterus to be fully oxygenated and powerful, without tensing the rest of my body. I sang this way to little Nora, till the moment she came into the world. Calling her to come down, down, down. My Dad said it sounded like a deep sea whale, my sister said I sounded like a wolf, (which flattered me, being that wolves are my favorite animal in the whole world :) my nephew, poor thing, said I sounded like a zombi! But I think the birthing song really is sacred. I was making the sounds of life. 

The aura in my house was radiant. I had requested that Paul give me a blessing at the beginning of my labor. It was so tender, powerful and sweet. Setting my heart into complete ease, I felt a steady peace pulsing in the room. Soothing, spiritual, encouraging music was playing. We set as sweet and intimate of a stage, as we possibly could, to bring an Angel into the world through. Calming and purifying essential oils were being defused, the light of day was warmly filtering through the windows in a soft haze. I was soaking in the warm pool of water, patiently going through my surges, soaking in every moment of this most sweet and sacred time. The intensity of love and ultimate vulnerability between my husband and I was so thick. We cradled, snuzzled, kissed, caressed, laughed, in the pinnacle of the greatest shift that our life has taken thus far. I didn't anticipate how intimate I would want my birth to be. I was sad that anyone else was going to be there. But as the labor progressed it was so wonderful to have the supportive birthing team I had.

As most of you may know, I have a torn ACL It was quite a site to see, waddling to and from the birthing pool and restroom on crutches. Just laboring away. When they got closer together, I couldn't make it from the bathroom to the pool with out having a surge. Oh how grateful I was for my Doula and Paul! They just held me as I hung on them and sang through the surge. In the restroom I would burrow my face into Paul's tummy and give him all the need in the world. He kissed me gently, rubbed back, told me how beautiful I was, and how wonderful I was doing.

Jumping back a little bit, my doula (Amy)  worked for my midwives and I really wanted to hire her, but it was just not working out.  I figured with my Mom and Paul there, I would be just fine. But little Peanut had other plans. My mother was scheduled to fly in on Wednesday, and the little lady decided her birthday was to be Monday. After my mucus plug released on Sunday, I had kinda excepted the face that my Mom might not be here in time. But I knew all would be well, Paul was with me, and that is all I needed. Another thing that was not anticipated was that my other midwife had a family emergency, and so she wasn't able to come, so Amy got to come :) I was so excited. That women, I'm totally in love with her now. She was incredible! Her and Paul made the ultimate labor support team. They worked so good together. Paul started to kind of mimic her, and being the fast learner he is, was transformed into the most powerful birth companion in the world! Oh I felt like a goddess! I had requested to be rubbed on my back with olive oil/Clary Sage or Wisper (Doterra combination) every half hour, to help stimulate surges. Now it might not have been every half hour, but Amy would take warm olive oil and rub my back through the surges. Between the smell, her soothing voice, the firm and gentle touch of my husband as he would hold my hand and pour water on my back, I was in absolute heaven.

My midwife, Liz, arrived at around 2:30pm/3:00pm, She had me get out of the pool and she checked me, I had requested not to know my dilation, but she forgot and told me, thank goodness it was good news! I was 6cm 100% effaced.  I wasn't upset at her but she knew from then on I wouldn't want to know.  I got back in the pool and things started picking up a little, my song started getting quite a bit louder. I was using the full capacity of my lungs. But I was still present, still in control, keeping the tones low and inviting the little one to come.

We got back into the pool, and while everyone was busying themselves in the kitchen, I felt the need to say a little prayer. So quietly my husband said a humble and powerful prayer into my ear. Heaven was in my home.

At this point I was 6 hours away from the moment of birth. So we continued in the massaging, water pouring, singing, holding hands, laboring for a good while. The intensity of my surges started increasing. I don't know the exact point that I was going through transition,  but I’m pretty sure it was at this point. My water still had not broken, my midwife checked me, and felt the sack of water, and told me her head was right there. That comforted me, she was getting closer. But oh how I wanted that sack to break. I know my family was sending up prayers, begging for that sac to pop! The pressure was pretty intense, it was causing me to work really hard and I was starting to get tired. I’m a person who says silent prayers throughout the day, I feel that by doing this I’ve developed a very intimate and personal relationship with my Heavenly Father.  This point of anticipating my waters to break, was one of the more vulnerable parts of my labor. I went deep inside myself and spoke to my God, and asked/begged for that water to break. Not even 5 seconds later, Nora socker punched that thing! With an audible pop, the waters released. No signs of meconium, but a whole bunch of vernix. This was about three hours before the birth. The midwives told me it was gonna start getting pretty intense now. I was excited! I said to them in return “ Lets do this.”

 She descended beautifully, my birthing song changed gears. Paul started singing with me, helping me focus on my birthing song. It was loud, echoing or releasing the incredible energy and power that could not be contained in my body. This is when I thought I should be going through transition, that the surges should start piling one on top of the other. After all that is what I had read and seen in so many birthing stories. Thats what would happen right when the baby was about to come. But my transition was different. My surges lasted almost 2 mins. with incredible intensity, then I got about a 30 sec break. Which looking back was a total heaven sent! But I was then told that I had indeed already gone through transition. That she was on her way. So the next sensation I was waiting for was that “Ring of fire.” Amy was amazing at reminding me what parts of my body to keep very relaxed. My hips and my face. She would bring my attention to parts of my body that were tensing up. It was awesome in helping me release into the surge. 

The labor took a shift that I did not exspect. I started feeling this uncontrollable urge to bear down. It was like, to be frank, like having the biggest bowel movement of my life!  Like I had done the whole time, I took in a quick deep breath on the rise of the surge and “ahhed”. But my “ahh” soon turned into an “uhhhhh!”.  Amazonian woman style. The power that surged through my whole body was incredible. My midwife told me to focus all that energy down. I remember her saying “ Sharyn you are gonna have this baby before the pizza arrives!” At first I thought she was kidding, but they had really ordered a pizza. Hilarious! The bearing down soon took on a new gear. It was at this time that my body was in complete control, and I was just there for the ride. Between these most powerful of surges, I would literally fall asleep. I had the strangest dreams. But I do remember being slightly conscious enough to feel my sweet husbands lips kissing my forehead, eyes, down my arms, and my lips. I remember him sniffling, trying to stifle tears. This was a refining and powerful time for him too. I would awaken from my merely unconscious state, search for my husband, hold fast to his upper arms and he to mine,  as we would bear down together.   

I would reach down after the surge and feel for her, and my heart would break a little more as I realized she wasn’t quite there. There was a moment when my heart started to fail me completely.  This was when I got to look deep down inside, into my most raw state. Like standing naked in front of myself. All weaknesses, fear, self doubts exposed, open for all to see. This is where I called upon my Heavenly Parents. Asking for my sacred divinity as woman, to help me bring this baby to this world. To give me courage and strength. I knew that if I went too much longer, I wouldn’t be able to birth the baby, I would have nothing else in me to give. So I literally prayed to start to feel that burning sensation, bring on that ring of fire. I knew that the moment I felt even a hint of that sensation, that I would be filled with a second wind. I didn’t let fear  cross my mind anymore. I knew that God had heard me. Moments later I started feeling a slight burning sensation. “ I can feel a little bit of burning!” I said. “Good, bear down into that sensation!” my midwives replied. “Focus all the energy down.”

I started doing all my visualization: opening blossom, open, cavernous. About two surges later, the midwifes asked if I would like to feel my babies head. My heart started to race as I reached down to touch my daughter for the first time. My heart burst in this moment. Her curly, little, soft head of hair, fit so sweet in the palm of my hand. I cried tears of joy and relief. I knew she was feeling the same thing I was. We were about to embrace each other. Our hard work was almost done. 

This is when my midwives told me “When the head comes out, do horse lips, so we can check to see if the chord is around the neck.” I guess you cant push when you are doing that. So the next surge her head was all the way out. I horse lipped with some pretty good vigor, then they gave me the clear and with one last bearing down surge, she slipped into her watery welcome. They passed her between my legs ( I was on all fours) and told me to pick up my baby. She had her back to me, I swooped her up and put her on my chest. With a gasp of relief and phenomenal joy. She was here, in my arms. It was so surreal. She gave out a good little cough and a gentle cry. They told me to rub her back to help stimulate those lungs a little farther. She gave her first echoing greeting to this world. Taking  in her breath of life.  

Because my mother couldn’t make it out in person, she went and borrowed my Grandma Barbara’s iPad. A blessing in disguise, my whole family got to watch. My Grandma Elizabeth watched for nine hours. Only leaving to use the restroom. She had meals brought to her. It brought tears to my eyes to see her there always watching. My sister Rachel in Texas watched while she worked. And my Brother Ryan and his wife Wendy watched Nora’s final entrance into this world from Florida. It was an amazing experience. It was the perfect situation. The room could only hold the amount of people there. It was intimate. But I also felt the support of my sweet loved ones. They could put it on mute, and talk. My little sisters would asks questions. Then they would un-mute and give me encouraging words of strength and love. My labor wasn’t exactly what I expected. It was better.  I had visualized having my baby in a matter of 5hrs (like my mom) and giving three gentle grunts to birth her. You know, just like the hundreds of Waterbirths I had watched online. But my labor was almost 19hrs long and took me a good hour of ‘grunting’ to bring little Eleanor into this world. It was the perfect labor for me. Hypnobirthing taught me the correct breathing techniques to keep my body totally relaxed. I was barely sore the days following because of that practice. Because of the perennial massage that my husband and I practiced, and the skills of my midwives, I didn’t tear. I knew what was happening at every stage in the labor. Because of listening to positive affirmations daily, about birthing. I had complete confidence and faith in myself and in my body. But what touches me the most, is how intimately God knows my needs. Better than I know myself. When I hurt my knee on Memorial Day in May, I was afraid that it was going to stop me from having my water birth. After the injury I had gotten a blessing, I specifically asked that he bless me to be able to birth in whatever position was necessary for me to birth my child. That blessing was answered, I could birth just how I desired. We have been so fortunate and blessed, so many answered prayers. Even down to intricate details like having oils diffused,   Amy being able to come, my family, especially my Grandmother, being able to witness the birth of our child, having sweet friends to be a photographer and bring me a bed for my baby, friends who bring me snacks and loving encouragement. It was above and beyond my expectations.  What I wouldn’t have realized before is how much I appreciated having a long labor. I loved that my labor lasted all day, its 19hrs of the most cherished memories with my husband I’ll ever have.  I now love my husband in ways I never knew possible. 

I’m grateful for the prayers, loving energy and support that was given for me and Eleanor. There were angels with us, a thick blanket of peace and protection was fully eminent and permeating the walls of my home. I’m grateful that I had positive influences and great examples of women who believe in and love the birth process. I’m grateful that I was introduced to Hypnobirthing and all the education and information that I was able to drink up, in preparation for my birth. I was very prepared. I feel indebted to my Heavenly Parents for supplying the means for me to receive all these things. It was a huge testament to me, that God is Bountiful, and will bless you bountifully if you ask in pure faith.